Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Call me old fashioned...

I am completely and utterly against making the first move on men. Unless we’re in a bar, I want a complimentary drink, and don’t plan on speaking to you again after that night.

In my short time dating what I call “Today’s Man”, I guess I’ve learned as much as I’ve been forced to accept. One of my principle lessons being: I do not and will not make first romantic contact. While I understand that some men are not as aggressive as others, and may even be intimidated—I remain steadfast that those are the men I simply don’t want.

I’m intrigued by a man who knows what he wants and can strategize to acquire it. If I put myself in a position to take charge, what do I need a man for? History and experience have shown me that as a woman, when you initiate pursuit, you’re not only rushing the process, but most likely taking a voluntary detour from the route God had planned for you in the first place.

Now, I’m certainly not saying that all the men I’ve let pursue me have turned out to be Prince Charming, but I do sleep better at night without some scrub having the option to say “You came after me!” And yep, you’re right, only a scrub would say something like that, but I’ve also found most of the men I pursued to be pretty boring, corny, or frankly uninterested [in me]. Which helps to serve as my reminder that I am not taking my time! (Remember, haste makes waste and a long blocked list.)

For as long as I’ve been in the game and around it, it has been confirmed time and time again, that a man knows what he wants and will prove it, and there’s nothing that can get in the way of that. So this is the philosophy that comforts me when I lock eyes with potential bait at the club, the bank, or the gas station and I keep it pumping. Because regardless of the courting structure we’re being prodded to conform to today, I still challenge and expect a man to be a man.

So if you’re a man, and if you want it, you better make it so.

This article was written by contributing writer, Patti Swayne. View more of her work here. 

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